F**kface Ads Draft
Bonus · published 2023-07-22 · archive #190

[0:00:10] Gavin: And action. I thought we were already in action. Gavin, this is your idea. Hello and welcome to the F**face Childhood Ads Draft. This one was my suggestion. It's the only one I've been responsible for. Hello. Do you think that puts pressure on you, Gavin? Shot out of the cannon. Do you feel any intensity that you have to perform well? Because this is your idea.
[0:00:38] Geoff: You got a bunch of bullshit ads. Why did you do this? Do you not have ads that you watched as a kid that have been burned into your memory for several decades? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I feel like we've all got some of those. Perfect for a draft. This was probably harder to narrow down than my favorite mall stores. There's a lot of childhood ads out there. I found this almost as difficult as the crisps. Yeah. Really? Crisp was hard, too. Can you explain how the draft works, Gavin?
[0:01:08] Eric: The pool. The pool is ads. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. Ads specifically to each of our own childhoods. Well, we might have shared a childhood ad. That's true. That's why it's a draft. You grew up in a different nation. Andrew grew up in a different nation. Jeff grew up in a different decade. So you're right. Me and Nick might have some childhood ads that overlap each other.
[0:01:38] Andrew: I assumed I couldn't pick out of my own childhood, that I couldn't just go crazy and pick someone else's childhood ad that was popular. Also, when it's to cut off for childhood, I had a real dilemma where there was an ad I thought of, but I was 13 when it came out. I'll be honest. Some of mine are from the 2000s when I was born in the 80s.
[0:01:57] Geoff: I think a childhood ad goes until you get a driver's license. Okay. Well, that's fuck for Gavin. I saw an ad yesterday that was... I'm sorry. Until the average person gets a driver's license. So Gavin is still a child. Child. Okay. I'm glad we all agree on that anyway. Let's figure out who goes first.
[0:02:18] Eric: Do you want to explain how we figure out who goes first? So we're randomizing. Oh, Gavin.
[0:02:23] Gavin: Well, Eric is currently typing names into a randomizer and that will determine the list. It's a snake draft, everyone. It's a snake.
[0:02:31] Geoff: How many times are we going to... How many randoms are we going to do? Last time we did a few. We did five last time.
[0:02:36] Gavin: We should do at least five. Five. Okay. Five randoms. And four ads each, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Excellent.
[0:02:44] Eric: Okay. Perfect. Here's one random. It is Jeff, Nick, Eric, Andrew, Gavin. Second random. Nick, Gavin, Jeff, Eric, Andrew. I want to be in the back. I want to be five. Third random. Jeff, Gavin, Nick, Eric, Andrew.
[0:03:02] Andrew: Oh, maintain.
[0:03:04] Eric: Fourth. Jeff, Gavin, Andrew, Eric, Nick. That only changed the last three. I will call this... This is classic order. Gagayan? That is... That's classic. Classic Gagayan. And now our fifth and final random. What if it's an egg? Back, back, back, back, back. Andrew, Jeff, Gavin, Eric, Nick.
[0:03:23] Andrew: No, it's the opposite. I saw no one two of these in a row. Fuck. Damn, Andrew. All right. Well, the pressure's on you, buddy. Yeah. Well, you know what? Actually, I do. I like I have the swing on the back end. I'm going to start it out. I think I got a banger. I think I got a strong first ad. And then it's going to be quiet for a while.
[0:03:42] Eric: Oh, if you are if you're listening to this, by the way, you can go on the face YouTube channel and we'll have all these ads posted along. So there'll be in a video version. We'll have all these ads as well.
[0:03:54] Gavin: Yeah. Our drafts are typically better in video.
[0:03:57] Geoff: So we're going to post the actual ads that are in the video. Yeah. I'm not worried about it.
[0:04:03] Eric: I'm not worried about it because it's a commercial.
[0:04:05] Geoff: I'm not worried about it either. Let's fucking do it, baby. That's awesome. Okay.
[0:04:09] Andrew: Ask forgiveness later. Okay. So do I talk about it now or do I wait until later? Yeah, I would give a little intro for it and then Eric can press play. So this was a dairy farm ad that played continuously during my childhood. They attempted to try to make milk cool to the kids in like late 90s, early 2000s. This is the milk wrap. Look out for a time traveling Rocco Bodie as one of the crew.
[0:04:36] Eric: Get ready. I'm excited. Okay. Here we go. All right. Here we go. Oh, yeah.
[0:04:42] Geoff: There he is.
[0:04:49] Andrew: Wow. You know what you want? That's Rocco. Yeah, it is. They're chilling.
[0:05:01] Unidentified: No, this was on all the time. This is insane.
[0:05:10] Geoff: So this is letter Kimmy. Yeah. Kind of, yeah. Everybody keeps talking about.
[0:05:20] Andrew: Boy, it just keeps going, huh? Yep. That's the whole thing. They really needed two verses to convey how cool it is.
[0:05:27] Unidentified: Jesus Christ.
[0:05:34] Andrew: No. I guess making out with Cal. I am lactose intolerant. So this was, I felt especially left out by how cool the milk was that I couldn't consume.
[0:05:44] Unidentified: Yep.
[0:05:44] Andrew: I still, I still, that song will get stuck in my head to this day. I will open the fridge and think straight through your bones from the farm to the fridge.
[0:05:52] Gavin: I'm imagining the fridge light hitting you in the face and you just start nodding a lot. Yeah, absolutely. I like when the milk hit the pan as a part of the beat.
[0:06:02] Andrew: Uh-huh. Oh, it's a key part of the experience.
[0:06:04] Geoff: Man, I, I fear, uh, I fear that you've set a high bar. My childhood wasn't nearly as interesting. I'll be honest.
[0:06:13] Gavin: I, I, I cannot believe how this relates to my first pick. I'm so excited. Really?
[0:06:18] Eric: Uh, Andrew, can I ask, was that a song you guys sang at school?
[0:06:21] Andrew: Uh, no, you know, I don't think I ever heard it in school, but everybody heard that song probably 10,000 more times.
[0:06:26] Geoff: Did you know all the lyrics when you were a kid?
[0:06:28] Andrew: Yeah. Did you sing it to yourself? Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. A hundred percent. Uh, that song was probably heard more than the national anthem if you grew up during the time when you grew up. It's constant. Constantly seeing that.
[0:06:39] Geoff: Did Roseanne ever sing it? Um. That's why I ran her out of Canada for singing that. Yeah.
[0:06:47] Eric: Well, good first pick. Um, next up we have, uh, Jeff. You ready, Jeff?
[0:06:53] Geoff: Yeah. Let me give an intro, I guess. Uh, when I was a kid, this was a commercial that played on TV a lot and I watched it a bunch and I enjoyed it. Uh, if you were a kid when I was a kid, you did the same thing. It became a part of the cultural zeitgeist. All of mine, I think, have a cultural zeitgeist ties to it. And, uh, it became spoofed on SNL and a lot of stuff. It's one of those commercials. They probably made four or five of them in the little series. And then they, it was spoofed for the next 15 years. Uh, it, there's no wrapping. And I feel like it's going to be let down after Andrews. Here we go.
[0:07:30] Unidentified: It certainly is a big bun. It's a very big bun. Big fluffy bun. It's a very big fluffy bun. Where's the beef? Fuck! At Wendy's, we say, we must, they call the single. And Wendy's single has more beef than the Whopper or Big Mac. At Wendy's, you get more beef and less bun. Hey! Where's the beef? I don't think there's anybody back there. You want something better. You're Wendy's kind of people. There you go. I'm hearing the ad.
[0:08:00] Eric: Clara Peller. Fantastic.
[0:08:03] Geoff: That is the, where's the beef lady. Uh, she became famous for that for the rest of her life. Did she, did she wears the beef in other commercials? Oh, well, other Wendy's commercials. Yeah. And then there were like spoofs. It was in sitcoms. If it like once, where's the beef hit the market, it became a slogan that lasted 25 years.
[0:08:22] Gavin: I like it when companies call out other companies by name. They shot on the Whopper and the Big Mac. Yeah, they did.
[0:08:29] Andrew: It's good stuff.
[0:08:31] Geoff: Now, when you say the rest of her life, did you mean two summers? Yeah. For the next 18 months that she was alive. Yeah. She was 104 when she recorded that. Oh, my.
[0:08:40] Unidentified: What year do you think she died, if you had to guess?
[0:08:44] Geoff: Oh.
[0:08:46] Unidentified: 1988.
[0:08:47] Geoff: I'm going to guess she died in 1996.
[0:08:50] Eric: Gavin?
[0:08:52] Geoff: 97.
[0:08:53] Eric: No, no. Summer of 98. Oh. All right. Bummer. That was almost. It's pretty good. 87. So, she got. Oh, fuck. She got three years. Yeah, she got three. So, she got three summers.
[0:09:04] Geoff: Wow. I wonder if that campaign only ended because she ended. I wonder if it kept going. Yeah. Oh, man. I never shed the planet with a.
[0:09:13] Andrew: No. No, you never did. You think she ever found the beef? Oh, yeah.
[0:09:17] Gavin: Yeah.
[0:09:17] Andrew: Every time she went to Wendy's. Well, she found it at Wendy's. Yeah.
[0:09:19] Eric: Absolutely. Okay, cool. Next up, we have Gavin.
[0:09:23] Gavin: Okay. Are you familiar with. With. Ooh, are.
[0:09:27] Unidentified: What?
[0:09:28] Andrew: No. What?
[0:09:29] Gavin: No. Ooh, are.
[0:09:32] Andrew: What is ooh, are?
[0:09:34] Gavin: It's what farmers say, right? And are you also familiar with the song Go West by the village people? Yes. Yes. Which I assume is a song about traveling west across the U.S. What they've done here is they've parodied it by advertising a rice pudding in a can called Ambrosia. And instead of going west across America, it's the west country of England where farmers are known to say, ooh, are.
[0:10:03] Geoff: What are. What is that? Is that. Are they Brummies? Are they Manx? Like, what's their. How do you call those?
[0:10:09] Gavin: They're like from Dorset. They're from the west country. So are they called like door doors? They're door doors. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I like this because one of the lines is if you like rice pud.
[0:10:23] Eric: Go ahead and play it. And here's your commercial. Oh, wow.
[0:10:34] Unidentified: Man.
[0:10:40] Andrew: There's something uncomfortable about this. What's all with his voice?
[0:10:58] Unidentified: You taste all good goodness of the west country and every spoonful of ambrosia cream rice.
[0:11:04] Geoff: Oh, it's 28 weeks later.
[0:11:15] Gavin: I've had the image of a man sat on a cow saying, ooh, are. It's Ambrosia for at least 25 years burned into my mind.
[0:11:26] Geoff: Apparently we can do a milk draft just in childhoods. Because we in America, we had milk. It does a body good. I did not include that in my campaign, but that was.
[0:11:36] Gavin: You didn't have ooh, ah, it's Ambrosia?
[0:11:38] Unidentified: No.
[0:11:40] Geoff: No, we had Michael Jordan with a jizz stash going, hey, man, you can dunk like meat.
[0:11:44] Gavin: Well, to be fair, that wasn't milk. That was rice pud.
[0:11:47] Eric: Yeah. Yeah, and he said so. He said specifically rice pud. Very song-centric so far. Yeah, yeah.
[0:11:53] Gavin: I'm enjoying the parodies.
[0:11:55] Eric: Yeah. Mine isn't really parody, but it is song-centric as I pull this over here. Mine is one that I've heard a million times and has woken me up even more. So, this is my simple commercial and my first pick in this draft.
[0:12:17] Unidentified: Okay.
[0:12:18] Eric: Oh, I remember this.
[0:12:20] Unidentified: Imagine a world where time drifts slowly. A world where music ties you away. Experience pure mercy. The perfect soundtrack for your way of life. Direct from Europe, this multi-patent collection-
[0:12:44] Eric: Oh, Crockett's theme. But be careful. It's scary. It's gonna get scary. Oh, shit. It's gonna get scary. Oh, no! Show, show, show. Oh!
[0:12:59] Unidentified: The collection gives you the feeling of pure moves. To order pure moves. Call the number on your screen or send check- Oh, can we order pure moves? Oh, my God. Plus shipping and handling.
[0:13:12] Andrew: Somebody call the number when you order pure moods.
[0:13:15] Unidentified: Call now.
[0:13:16] Andrew: Goddamn, Eric. That took me back, man.
[0:13:19] Eric: So, pure moods for me is a- It is- If you were falling asleep with the TV on, the beginning of that commercial- Hey, I like you- It wakes you up in a cold sweat every night, 2.15.
[0:13:38] Gavin: I had the exact same ad in England, but maybe without as much Twin Peaks and with more Faithless, but it was the exact same style, maybe with a different name. But that, yeah, that hit me right in the brainstem. That activated something.
[0:13:52] Eric: Yeah. Yeah.
[0:13:53] Geoff: That was a great one, Eric.
[0:13:54] Eric: It really makes me appreciate those CD commercials. I loved those, and that was just a really good one. Like Freedom Rock, like those kind of things. Yeah, like all- I just think they're so fun.
[0:14:05] Gavin: I like this because you need those adverts to know what the songs are called, because you'll never get it from hearing the song.
[0:14:10] Geoff: Except for me. Absolutely. Yep. Man, Eric, that's a commercial like I had forgotten existed. The second you played it, I knew every line of it. Yep. And I've probably seen it 10,000 times. That's wild.
[0:14:23] Eric: A hundred percent. Absolutely. Totally. That's awesome. Yeah, there you go. Okay, well, that's mine. And here is the final- Everybody's favorite, Nick. The final first round pick is Nick. I- You freak. What? Oh, this is a great commercial. This commercial made me afraid of not- You've got to be kidding me.
[0:14:42] Nick: Yard work. But let's bring it back to milk. Okay. All right. Drink your milk, kids. I don't want milk.
[0:14:50] Unidentified: Milk's for babies. Yeah, babies. Oh, yeah? Well, I happen to know that milk helps build strong bones. So drink up. Well, Mr. Miller told me he never drinks milk. Look at him. Yeah. Right, kid. Oh, my God. It's so simple. It's such a good one. That's so great. I think it might have been traumatized as a kid, man.
[0:15:26] Gavin: Was that actually on TV? Yeah.
[0:15:31] Unidentified: It was a god milk commercial, man. All right.
[0:15:35] Andrew: Milk farmers know what they're doing. I don't think I've ever seen that before.
[0:15:42] Nick: It definitely gets the message across when you're a kid. That's for sure. Oh, me too. Yeah.
[0:15:47] Andrew: I would be convinced I was going to die. As someone who couldn't drink milk, I'd just be like, I'm fucked. I'm dead. It's over.
[0:15:54] Eric: What do you do? Yep. Well, that's a great- Our first round is very milk-focused, but it's good. It's a good first round. And now we move on to our second round, and that'll be Nick.
[0:16:08] Nick: Well, hello again. Okay. So this one takes me back to a simpler time, as probably most of these will. But I'll always remember Super Smash Brothers, the game, because of this particular ad.
[0:16:22] Eric: Yep. Great one. Awesome pick. I love this one. Absolutely a great pick. I was like, oh, how peaceful. How nice. Yep. Oh, God.
[0:16:36] Geoff: Oh, my God. Nick is so good at drafts. Are you guys pretty good, Nick? Yeah. Thank you.
[0:16:44] Unidentified: I feel good about this one.
[0:16:45] Eric: I remember thinking about this commercial all the time when I was a kid.
[0:16:54] Gavin: How much fun must that have been to film that?
[0:16:57] Eric: Oh, it must have been the best, right? Like, that commercial is awesome. The song is such a great pick for it. Everyone fighting, it's great. That is a good one, dude.
[0:17:07] Geoff: Thank you. You think that was awesome to film? I guarantee you those actors couldn't breathe in those costumes 104 degrees outside. They had to run up and down that hill 1,800 times, and they were miserable.
[0:17:19] Eric: Right, but I'm not considering that. I'm considering being behind the camera and watching Pikachu fly around at you.
[0:17:26] Gavin: Yeah, I get you. Hey, Yoshi, could you go in harder with that gut shot on Donkey Kong?
[0:17:33] Andrew: I'm just relieved Conor McGregor wasn't there.
[0:17:35] Eric: He would never get a game. I would have died. Take him down. Go to the hospital.
[0:17:40] Unidentified: Oh, no.
[0:17:41] Eric: Okay, cool. So, I have the next pick, my second round. Hell, yeah. I'll put it here, but it is... Don't blow this. It's one that I've seen a million times. I know word for word. It was endless in my childhood, so I'm just going to play it for you guys now.
[0:17:59] Unidentified: I cannot live another day without air conditioning. Says tomorrow's going to be hotter. Oh, yeah. Like yesterday. Yesterday? Yesterday, you said you'd call Sears. I'll call today. You call now. I'll call now. Perfect.
[0:18:11] Eric: Why was this on Nickelodeon every commercial break when I was a kid? For who?
[0:18:21] Unidentified: Tell your parents you're hot. The end buttons it up. It tells a story. Kenmore could save 10% to 44% on your annual cooling costs. In time, even pay for itself. Sears also offers fast emergency installation, a five-year warranty on parts and labor, plus our satisfaction guarantee. And you know Sears will be there to back it up. Get 0% finance charge. Are you listening, kids? No payment. For ends, May 31st. So call now. Here it is. Everything shot. Now back to Metalocalypse. So what's the paper say about tomorrow? Another scorcher. Cool.
[0:18:59] Eric: Yeah! Yay! It is... Nick, how many times have you seen that commercial?
[0:19:03] Nick: Oh, every day for... Oh, at least a thousand. That's so funny. Why would that be on Nickelodeon?
[0:19:09] Eric: I don't know. I've seen it so much. I've seen it parodied a million times. It's great. It's great. But that's my pick. So now we're back onto Gavin.
[0:19:22] Gavin: This is probably my only pick that I assume everyone has seen. Are you aware of the original commercial for Xbox in Europe?
[0:19:31] Eric: Yes. Yes. Yes. All right. I knew you were going to pick this. Oh my God.
[0:19:57] Unidentified: Dude, this is insane. I don't know that I've ever seen this. You haven't seen this?
[0:20:02] Eric: Uh-uh.
[0:20:06] Unidentified: Does he die?
[0:20:14] Geoff: What? That's why you do your kegels. Hey, life's short, Eric.
[0:20:22] Gavin: What the hell? Drink milk. And banned immediately. I think it was on TV for two weeks before it got a shitload of complaints.
[0:20:30] Eric: That sounds right.
[0:20:32] Gavin: And then it was immediately taken off. But yeah, that was coinciding with the launch of the original Xbox in Europe. And I think it's phenomenal. Yeah.
[0:20:43] Eric: That's crazy. That is really something, man. Uh, just like the shots of some guy going over the countryside of England. That was, uh, that was a hell of a pick, Gavin. That was, I don't think I've never ever seen that. That was wild. What a fucking. We died. It was, a man died.
[0:21:05] Gavin: A man died. I think they started strong. I think Xbox typically was never as cool as PlayStation. But I think that ad was cool. I think they were actually cool until it was banned.
[0:21:15] Geoff: Did you, did that ad like literally work on you when you were a kid where you're like, you know, life is short. I should play more video games. Well, I mean, I got an Xbox instead of a PlayStation.
[0:21:24] Andrew: I like the idea of seeing that and then going to buy an Xbox and getting blinks the time cat. Like the cost, the penalty of.
[0:21:38] Gavin: What's sad is watching that now. I realized how far along the timeline of that guy flying over England. I've actually progressed. And, uh, that is quite worrying. Maybe I should play more Xbox.
[0:21:49] Eric: Good luck exploding a coffin. Oh man.
[0:21:53] Andrew: It's so great. Because the 360 also had a banned ad in Europe.
[0:21:58] Gavin: I think if you've, if you announce a new console, you've got to start with a banned ad. That's just how you do it. Smart.
[0:22:04] Eric: Smart. Um, okay. Moving on to Jeff. Anything you want to say about yours, Jeff?
[0:22:09] Geoff: Uh, this ad is actually from a little bit before I was born. It's from a series of ads that were very popular. I just couldn't find any specific ones from my childhood that weren't included in like an hour and a half long compilation where we'd have to watch 37. And then it's in, you know, I just seemed like a pain in the ass. So I got what I think is the first one of this series. You may not mean anything to you, but it affected. I'll say this. Every child in America did this at the grocery store specifically because of this ad. My entire childhood, I did it. And everybody I knew did it. We did it to be dickheads. We did it because the TV told us not to.
[0:22:48] Gavin: Would Stewart have done this?
[0:22:49] Eric: Yes. Okay. Here it is.
[0:22:52] Unidentified: Tim Herman, the funny looking one with the mustache. Oh. Hey Whipple. You've been giving the missus a tough time for squeezing Charmin bathroom tissue. But we don't squeeze new Charmin in the store. Yeah. See, there's a sign. A sign.
[0:23:12] Andrew: It's like Columbo's stuntman. Yeah.
[0:23:16] Unidentified: It's like Columbo tough guy. But Herman, we can't resist. Charmin's so deep down, squeezably soft. And the soft fragments is irresistible. Irresistible price too. I need a sign. Everyone squeezes new Charmin here. Does smell nice. Yeah, it does. She'll suck. You gotta resist it, honey. You gotta be strong like us guys.
[0:23:41] Geoff: Right, Whipple? Oh, Mr. Whipple. Even Mr. Whipple succumbed to squeezing the Charmin. New, squeezeably soft Charmin bathroom tissue from Dr. and Gamble.
[0:23:50] Unidentified: Take a moment, squeeze it out your ass.
[0:23:51] Geoff: They're all just squeezing this baby's face. When I go to a grocery store, I still squeeze the fucking Charmin sometimes. Oh, you still squeeze it? Oh, yeah. Fuck you, Whipple. Trying to stop our good time.
[0:24:07] Eric: Fuck you, Whipple. That was way before my time, the squeeze the Charmin thing. But that was even something that I knew growing up.
[0:24:16] Geoff: It's another one of those things like, where's the beef? It lasted from the 70s into the mid-80s. They were still doing new commercials with him when I was probably 9 or 10.
[0:24:25] Gavin: Oh, so was it always budget Peter Falk as well?
[0:24:29] Geoff: No, that was just somebody's husband who was a little tough guy, maybe in the lower rung of the mafia. Yeah, but it was always some situation where Mr. Whipple was like, ladies, I'm begging you, don't squeeze the Charmin. And they're like, Mr. Whipple, it's so squeezably soft. And you turn around and he's squeezing and they're like, Mr. Whipple, you too? And he's like, oh no, I'm what I hate. I'm what I hate. Not nearly as cool as shooting a dying baby out of your vagina, but it is.
[0:25:05] Andrew: Yeah, that's pretty good. I'm curious if Mr. Whipple has just an unreasonable hatred of bears after getting bumped by a shit-taking bear. That's my Charmin logo. Like, I don't know if there was in between or did they, do we know if they like passed the baton to the bear? I think maybe they tried to toughen it up.
[0:25:26] Geoff: Like, nobody squeezes a bear, right? You get your fucking arm ripped off.
[0:25:29] Eric: Yeah. Smart. Okay, and now we've moved on to the last pick in our second round, and this will be Andrew.
[0:25:39] Andrew: This is tough. This is a, we'd strap in, because we're going to go on a little bit of an adventure. This is, we are going not just, like, country, we're going local. I'm going with some local ads. These are, we're going with a two-parter. These are going to be two different ads, my second and third pick. Just so you can understand the joy that it was growing up with Dodds commercials. Now, these Dodds Furniture Mattress. Dodds? Dodds Furniture and Mattress. I'm posting a link right now. These were bed commercials. They all had a general kind of same feel to them, the same vibe, and they're insane. So enjoy that.
[0:26:21] Eric: Okay, here's Dodds.
[0:26:23] Unidentified: Space. You find it for you. Hi, Captain. You can choose a little space with a CERDA. Oh, my God. All comfort CERDA mattresses let you have softer firm on the same mattress. Boldly dream like you never dreamed before. He's a triple. Be on board to the side that's right for you. This whips. Captain, you won't be undersold. Nick, it's off.
[0:26:47] Andrew: Live long and sleep. Andrew. Andrew. Great fucking tick. That's fantastic. Dodds is a staple. You gotta love Dodds.
[0:27:02] Gavin: You actually saw that come on television?
[0:27:05] Andrew: Constantly in FCC in the top left. There's a super Dodd. I'm gonna drop in a second link right now of another Dodds commercial. This was my childhood. Whenever there is a new Dodd, everyone get excited. New Dodd is on TV. A new Dodd? It's, uh... Oh, man.
[0:27:21] Gavin: That shot of them both warping onto the bed. Just on their backs.
[0:27:27] Eric: That was so funny. That was really good. Get the link in.
[0:27:32] Andrew: Yeah, they're great. All these commercials. A lot of them are based on film parody. Mm-hmm.
[0:27:37] Geoff: Is that him in the bottom right there as the Incredible Hulk?
[0:27:40] Eric: Yes, it is.
[0:27:41] Geoff: That is a Dodd's Hulk.
[0:27:43] Andrew: Mm-hmm. We're not going with that one. We're going with this one that I just put in the chat.
[0:27:47] Eric: Again, Dodd's furniture. Yep. All right.
[0:27:51] Unidentified: After 33 years of never being undersold, it was bound to happen. I got gas. In fact, Gordy has so much gas, he wants to give you a $100 gas coupon to Peninsula Co-op for every purchase over $900. Buy a bed, get a gas card. I got gas. For the bedroom. I got gas. This is... I got gas. Awesome. Wait a second. This is so fucking cool. Let go. Chop a Dodd with...
[0:28:20] Eric: Why does it do that? Oh, Andrew. Oh, man. That's fucking great, dude.
[0:28:31] Geoff: That's awesome, dude.
[0:28:32] Eric: Oh, my God.
[0:28:34] Andrew: Oh. Wow. Ugh. It was tough for me not to just go with four different Dodds ads for my pick. But, uh, yeah, that's our Dodd block. I hope people enjoy it. And explore further on your own into the Dodd universe.
[0:28:50] Eric: I, I'm impressed.
[0:28:52] Unidentified: Ugh.
[0:28:52] Eric: I think that that was really good. It, I mean, that was super dotted out. I, I'm, I love it. Um, I don't, I, local commercials are really something else. That was a very good one.
[0:29:07] Gavin: I like this in some of the I got gas shots. There's just a couple of people just moseying around in the background.
[0:29:13] Geoff: Um, we should do a local commercial draft someday. There's so many.
[0:29:20] Eric: It's a good, that's like not a bad plan.
[0:29:22] Geoff: Uh, okay. Uh, we're moving on to Jeff now. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Oh, cause this would be my third one. Uh, it's, I'm continuing in a very specific theme here, which is, uh, ads that maybe weren't necessarily, uh, marketed towards kids, but that created cultural touchstones that just became bigger than the ad themselves. And this one is the one, here's another example. My entire childhood, this was an ad campaign. And as an adult, when I get up in the morning, I say this to myself or to Emily. And I have, I have my entire fucking life. And I'd say probably four days a week. I still say this.
[0:29:58] Unidentified: Okay.
[0:30:01] Gavin: Time to make the donuts.
[0:30:03] Geoff: Time to make the donuts.
[0:30:06] Gavin: I've heard you say this.
[0:30:08] Geoff: Yeah, man. The Dunkin' Donut man has to get up before everybody else so that he can stroll into Dunkin' Donuts and make the donuts. Wake up, asshole. Oh, yeah. This one, it just, it shows the hit over and over again for some reason. Great. He stops eventually. They just really want you to get the effect of the slap. It didn't add like that, did it? No. Okay. There you go. Dunkin' Donuts. Time to make the donuts. It's everybody in America who had to get up before the sun rose would fucking stumble around their house trying to brush their teeth and make coffee going, time to make the donuts because of that fucking dude.
[0:30:52] Gavin: It's so funny. Like the stuff that just gets burned into our brains. So effective.
[0:30:57] Eric: Again, another one that was before my time that I knew because it was just in the zeitgeist.
[0:31:03] Gavin: Yeah.
[0:31:03] Eric: Okay. Next one is Gavin.
[0:31:04] Gavin: I like this one because once again, it created a catchphrase that went way beyond the advert itself. And it's probably the most English advert I've ever seen. It's condescending. The guy just looks like a normal bloke. He's got a hole in his jumper. And it's pretty self-explanatory.
[0:31:23] Unidentified: Okay. This is a door. This is Ron Seal quick-drying varnish. Brush it on and you'll have a door covered in Ron Seal quick-drying varnish. It's touch-dry in about 20 minutes. So in about 20 minutes, you can touch it and it will be dry. Of course, you won't get a beautiful result. Or there'll be no point doing the job in the first place. It does exactly what it says on the tin.
[0:31:44] Gavin: It does exactly what it says on the tin. It was an absolute icon of a catchphrase. And people use it for way more than varnishes now. But I just, and that guy did so many of those adverts where he's like, oh, this is a flaw.
[0:31:58] Eric: And, you know, just like so, so dry and condescending.
[0:32:01] Gavin: And I love him so much.
[0:32:02] Eric: The British are so strange. What do you mean?
[0:32:06] Geoff: Dude, that is like Gavin the commercial.
[0:32:09] Eric: Yeah, no kidding. That was like, that was ridiculous.
[0:32:13] Gavin: I think that's who I wanted to be growing up was the Ron Seal guy.
[0:32:16] Eric: Pretty fucking clear. Mission accomplished. I think that that's great. You're right. That's a guy with a hole in his jumper. It's also deliberate. And it's great. It is straightforward.
[0:32:27] Gavin: And those things must have taken like eight minutes to film.
[0:32:30] Eric: Maybe, maybe eight minutes. Say the line. Do we need another take? No, we got it. Oh, okay.
[0:32:36] Gavin: Does exactly what it says on the tin.
[0:32:38] Eric: Yeah. Oh, man. Okay. Well, mine, my third pick. I don't know how many of you guys are going to know this, but this is one that I sing to myself almost every day. So I'm just going to play it.
[0:32:53] Unidentified: I love this commercial.
[0:33:08] Eric: I'm dancing.
[0:33:15] Unidentified: Which college is right for me? Best part.
[0:33:25] Eric: This played all day. Every day.
[0:33:29] Unidentified: Why did somebody make this song?
[0:33:42] Andrew: Because that would be put in draft 15 years later, whatever. I don't think I've ever seen that commercial before.
[0:33:49] Eric: Oh, you weren't watching daytime TV in 2004? This is all that played.
[0:33:54] Gavin: You get a free success kit?
[0:33:56] Eric: Yeah. None of it is. It's that and the Everest College guy. He's not my last pick, but Everest College is such a runner up for me. I almost put it on and I didn't. It's so good.
[0:34:09] Gavin: Why is it like just a search engine for colleges?
[0:34:11] Eric: Yes. Is it just Google? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But Google doesn't have a free success kit.
[0:34:17] Gavin: That's true. Worth a hundred dollars.
[0:34:19] Eric: Yeah. But that that girl singing that song, all the graphics, it was just like, man, inescapable. I love that. I love that commercial.
[0:34:28] Gavin: I love the era of of time where the internet was fresh enough that it warranted people standing on top of the internet while they were talking.
[0:34:38] Eric: Here's what the web page looks like. Oh, OK. Great. Oh, man.
[0:34:44] Nick: All right. On to Nick with his third pick. All right. So this speaking of songs, this is one that features a song that gets stuck in your head, but also features people who are put in situations and given a product that would never actually solve them, and yet it always seemed to.
[0:35:01] Unidentified: Oh, great pick. Great pick.
[0:35:04] Andrew: Oh, so good.
[0:35:05] Unidentified: This song is so catchy. It doesn't matter what comes. Oh, no, his suit. Nick, his suit. Wait a second. Look at this lunatic.
[0:35:22] Eric: Now he's just covered in paint. Pinstripe.
[0:35:25] Unidentified: I always like the one where the person.
[0:35:32] Geoff: Oh, shit. Oh, that was scary. Well, the person goes through the car at the stop line.
[0:35:37] Eric: Did you ever see the Foo Fighters video that parodies that like all those commercials? No, no. They did a music video for Big Me. I think it was like one of their first songs, and it's just a big Mentos parody. And it's it's good. When I see those, I think of that.
[0:35:54] Geoff: Oh, Zoo Books in the bottom right.
[0:35:56] Eric: I remember those. Damn. Uh, camels. I wonder if I wonder if that's somebody's fourth pick. Nick, do you have a fourth pick?
[0:36:03] Nick: I do. Here it is. There was a lot of back and forth on this one, but I'm going back. Oh, almost picked.
[0:36:10] Eric: Almost picked this one. This is my favorite.
[0:36:15] Nick: The Chihuahua Twitch. Oh.
[0:36:29] Eric: Wait a second. He wasn't going to the girl Chihuahua? Yeah. Look at how good that looks. What? What? Hang on. Is that Buster? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
[0:36:49] Geoff: It is. It's Tony Hale.
[0:36:51] Eric: What?
[0:36:52] Geoff: Dude, you're right. That is Tony Hale.
[0:36:54] Eric: What? I can't believe that. That's Buster from Arrested Development. Oh, my God. That is him. I didn't know that. Is it really him? Yeah, that's definitely him. That's crazy. Wow. He popped up on the screen, and I went, oh, it kind of looks like him. And then it was this close up, and I went, oh, yeah. Oh, that's him. That's him. I can see it. Yep.
[0:37:17] Gavin: He was pretty dashing back then.
[0:37:19] Eric: That's crazy. You know the dog was voiced by one of the guys from Reno 911? Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Was it really? What a weird career. Seriously. What an absolutely crazy career. Oh, man.
[0:37:33] Gavin: I liked it. They clearly went, hmm, how are we going to show the dog going up a ladder? Oh, POV? That'll do it. Yeah, don't worry.
[0:37:42] Eric: You're the dog. It's fine. Nick, great picks. Yeah, great picks. Here's my final pick. Pick number four. I don't know how many people are going to know this. Great pick. But.
[0:37:57] Unidentified: It's sometime in the future. This.
[0:38:01] Andrew: I had this one lined up too.
[0:38:04] Unidentified: Oh, yeah. So good. I had this. It was this fun. Was it really? Yes. It was this fun. Should we play it? Oh, my God. Yeah. You use a little gun to shoot.
[0:38:25] Gavin: Is that kid dead? You shoot little.
[0:38:28] Eric: You shoot marbles? So you shoot little marbles out of the little gun and you are trying to knock these things that are essentially like little ball bearings inside of like stars or triangles or whatever. You're trying to hit them to go into like the opponent's little ditch in front of them. So there's like four or five things on the play field at once. And you're just picking one shooting at it and they have to defend. It's going back and forth. It's really fun. Crossfire ruled.
[0:38:58] Gavin: And are you trying to avoid or are you trying to get caught up in the crossfire?
[0:39:02] Eric: Oh, you're definitely getting whether you want to or not. You're getting caught up in the crossfire. Yeah. Okay. Like regardless of what you want, you are getting caught up in the crossfire.
[0:39:12] Gavin: Man, America did toy adverts right.
[0:39:14] Eric: Oh, yeah. Yeah. So good. Tricking kids outright?
[0:39:16] Geoff: A hundred percent. We did that so well. We should. We do the same thing with medication commercials now. We have to grow up. We have mesothelioma. We should definitely do a crossfire tournament.
[0:39:30] Eric: Dude, that'd be sick. Hell yeah.
[0:39:32] Geoff: See who the best one is. That'd be fucking awesome. Summer of 98 content.
[0:39:35] Eric: Dude, no kidding. I think crossfire might be a little bit earlier than that. But okay, why not? Why not? Crossfire's still around. Well, you can buy crossfire. $70.
[0:39:49] Gavin: And is that new crossfire or just old stock?
[0:39:52] Eric: I mean, it looks almost exactly like that crossfire.
[0:39:55] Geoff: It does not look $70. That's what's Phantasy Star on the Sega Master System cost when it came out.
[0:40:02] Andrew: What a great associating price to Phantasy Star. That's two Phantasy Stars on the Sega Master System came out. That's what I always used to think of.
[0:40:11] Geoff: I was like, how can a video game cost $70 in 1985?
[0:40:17] Eric: Okay, cool. And Gavin, your last pick.
[0:40:21] Gavin: Oh, okay. What was the tagline for Dr. Pepper? Be a Pepper?
[0:40:28] Eric: Yeah, I guess that was it.
[0:40:31] Andrew: Yeah, I don't know.
[0:40:32] Geoff: It was weird. Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too? Yeah. He's a Pepper, she's a Pepper.
[0:40:36] Unidentified: Oh, yeah, that was. I guess that was it.
[0:40:38] Gavin: Now, I've made a lot of references to Dr. Pepper commercials, and I realized the catchphrase was completely different in the UK, where it was, what's the worst that can happen? What? And the reason I thought it was American is because all of the commercials star American actors and seem to be shot in America, but entirely for a UK audience. They even look like fuzzy. Is that Jesse Eisenberg? That's a teenage Jesse Eisenberg. What? Okay, hang on. All right, hang on.
[0:41:06] Nick: Soda, soda, soda. Oh, yep, that's him.
[0:41:09] Eric: Soda. Young Zuck. Dr. Pepper, what's the worst that could happen? What does that mean?
[0:41:21] Unidentified: What are we going to do here? We're going to have to cut him out of his pants. Don't worry, kid. We'll just get these out of here and we'll be all right. Yeah. What do you want to do? What do you want to do? The underwear is going to have to come off. Take the underwear off. Take the underwear off. Take the underwear off. It's all right. I'm sorry about that. That's it. Step aside. Butt naked kid coming through.
[0:41:39] Eric: What is going on? What?
[0:41:41] Unidentified: What?
[0:41:51] Gavin: But no one in America knows that tagline or has seen any of these commercials. I don't understand. What? What were they doing?
[0:41:59] Eric: I want a Dr. Pepper or.
[0:42:02] Andrew: Yeah, I don't know. I don't understand why. Like he gets the Dr. Pepper and then it goes wrong.
[0:42:08] Gavin: I assume it's because people in England didn't really know what what it tasted like. But and so they were just like, oh, what's the worst that could happen? And then they show something horrific happening. But in every in every piece of content I've been in for the last 10 years, anyone. Anytime someone has mentioned Dr. Pepper, I've just asked what's the worst that can happen. And no one ever knows what I'm talking about. I might have done it on face like two or three times.
[0:42:32] Eric: I've never I've never heard of this. I've never seen this. I don't understand it. I'm clearly like.
[0:42:40] Gavin: Yeah, I don't either. And I think also in the middle of that is that woman from I don't remember her name, but she's in Mission Impossible movies.
[0:42:46] Andrew: That was her. I thought so.
[0:42:48] Gavin: She's like Tom Cruise's wife in Mission Impossible.
[0:42:52] Andrew: That lady. Michelle Monaghan. Yeah, that was her. Yeah, that's her name.
[0:42:58] Eric: Weird. Crazy. Well, that was a that was a great last pick, Gavin. That really threw me for a loop.
[0:43:05] Gavin: But now we have an actual frame of Jesse Eisenberg's, you know, bare ass. Right. TV commercial. I'll be beating after that later.
[0:43:12] Eric: Here is Jeff's final pick. Jeff, anything you want to say?
[0:43:19] Geoff: Yeah, let me. I'm going to throw this out there. This final pick is an audible. Honestly, I had something else picked that I was really happy with. But Nick, Nick's Taco Bell commercial jogged a very important. Oh, wow. And so I went and I grabbed it. So what I'm saying is I haven't watched this yet. I think it's the right commercial. So I apologize if it goes wrong.
[0:43:39] Eric: OK, here it is. Spuds.
[0:43:41] Unidentified: There he is. What a happening, dude.
[0:43:46] Andrew: Spuds McKenzie is a rad dude.
[0:43:52] Unidentified: Awesome. Every.
[0:44:04] Geoff: Look at him go. I had a bull terrier for 11 years because of those commercials. Hell yeah. Go Spuds, go. I also think it's really weird. That commercial is clearly marketed towards kids because that dog is the original party animal. And that was the country version. There was a lot of beach like he would. It was a lot of like Hawaiian shirt wearing Spuds McKenzie commercials. Clearly marketed towards kids. That is a beer commercial. It never struck me as odd when I was a child, but I really wanted to be Spuds McKenzie when I was a kid.
[0:44:39] Eric: Every time I see a dog like that, I just go, Spuds McKenzie out loud. Every time. 100% of the time.
[0:44:46] Gavin: Was that a random Australian guy announcing that it was Spuds McKenzie? Was it? I don't know.
[0:44:52] Eric: Was he Australian?
[0:44:53] Gavin: I don't know. I just. It was much later than this.
[0:44:58] Eric: Hang on. I need to see if he's Australian, Jeff. Hang on. Well, no worries.
[0:45:01] Unidentified: Oh, it's supposed to be Robin Leach.
[0:45:12] Geoff: No, it's Robin Leach.
[0:45:13] Eric: I don't know if it is Robin Leach. It is Robin Leach.
[0:45:15] Geoff: It is Robin Leach. Yeah.
[0:45:17] Eric: Do you think, is Robin Leach Australian?
[0:45:19] Geoff: Who's Robin Leach? Yeah, I don't know who Robin Leach is. Wow, really? You don't know who Robin Leach is? Lifestyles of the rich and the famous. You don't know who Robin Leach is? No. No. We had a show in America called Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous where Robin Leach would take you around and show how rich people lived. It was like Cribs before Cribs.
[0:45:39] Eric: Yep. Oh, okay. And he's a British guy, right?
[0:45:43] Geoff: Yeah, he was British.
[0:45:44] Eric: There he is, Robin Leach. Wow. Also famous in America. He's from Perryvale, United Kingdom. Yeah. He died in Las Vegas.
[0:45:56] Geoff: He seems like a Vegas kind of guy.
[0:45:58] Eric: Yeah, absolutely.
[0:45:59] Geoff: Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
[0:46:01] Eric: Okay. And that's Jeff's last pick. Now we have the final pick of this draft. Andrew, number four.
[0:46:08] Andrew: A lot of pressure here. There's a lot I could have went with. I used to get tons of PSA type commercials as a kid growing up. There's so many that they'd play constantly on like our equivalent of Nickelodeon and whatnot. So I'm going to go with what I think is the most iconic. It's one of the things I immediately think of when I think of childhood commercials. And I think it just is sort of a perfect ending to this draft as a whole for what the messaging is of the commercial. Okay. Anybody like from my time, from my age, has seen this so many times. Okay.
[0:46:43] Unidentified: It's nighttime in a kitchen just like yours. All is quiet. Or is it? Oh, shit. A North American house hippo is found throughout Canada and the eastern United States. House hippos are very timid creatures and are rarely seen. But they will defend their territory if provoked. They come out at night to search for food, water, and materials for their nests. The favorite foods of the house hippo are chips, raisins, and the crumbs from peanut butter on toast. They build their nests in bedroom closets using lost mittens, dryer, lint, and bits of string. Nests have to be very soft and warm. House hippos sleep about 16 hours a day. That looked really real. But you knew it couldn't be true, didn't you? You knew. That's why it's good to think about what you're watching on TV and ask questions, kind of like you just did. A message from concerned children's advertisers.
[0:47:43] Unidentified: Hey, idiot. What the hell was that?
[0:47:45] Andrew: That buzz kill fuck.
[0:47:47] Geoff: Oh, my God.
[0:47:47] Andrew: That baby flying through the air. That wasn't real. That didn't happen. You know that chihuahua running up? Get that Taco Bell. That's some bullshit. Spuds McKenzie can't really play the drums. You can't see what a cow in a train station.
[0:48:02] Eric: No. Yeah. I'm just sort of floored like it was so long. Yeah. Yeah. And then it was like, guess what? That's not even real. And I'm like, none of this will write. Guess what?
[0:48:13] Gavin: We fucking lied to you and you believed it, you idiot. But all you're going to take away from that is, man, I wish little house hippos were real. I'm just going to think about the house hippos. Where do I buy the house hippo? I want one. Can we make one?
[0:48:24] Andrew: My thought while watching it is, I wish I could get the opinion of a house hippo for the chip off. I feel like there's clearly expertise in that realm. Weird to draft.
[0:48:36] Eric: That's such a weird commercial. Well, that's our draft. How do you guys feel like you did? I feel good. I feel good.
[0:48:44] Andrew: I feel good. Part of my childhood.
[0:48:48] Gavin: I feel like Andrew did really well with those mattress ones.
[0:48:52] Eric: Oh, those Dodds commercials were great, dude. Those were really fun.
[0:48:56] Gavin: I didn't really have a lot of local stuff. My country is small enough to just be local.
[0:49:00] Eric: Yeah.
[0:49:01] Geoff: I get it. I get it. Does anybody have any runner-ups they want to show? I've got an honorable mention for sure. Yeah. Do you want to do something?
[0:49:12] Eric: Okay. Do you want to throw it in the line below your last one? And we can show an honorable mention? Everybody get one honorable mention? Yeah, sure. Why not? Okay. I had a few. This one will do. This is Gavin's.
[0:49:25] Gavin: This is Tango. Tagline being, you've been tangoed. Okay. This advert started a trend that caused so many kids on so many playgrounds to end up with a burst eardrum.
[0:49:41] Eric: Really?
[0:49:42] Gavin: Yeah. What? It was eventually, I think, also banned.
[0:49:46] Eric: But I might be wrong.
[0:49:48] Gavin: I don't know.
[0:49:49] Unidentified: Hello, Johnny. I think we might use a video replay here. Super, right? Let's do that. Oh, we could be in for a quintessential Tango Tessensation here.
[0:50:02] Andrew: What is happening? Wow.
[0:50:05] Unidentified: Oh, no. He's been tangoed. Oh, no. Yes, Ralph. The big orange fella run in from the left. And he gives him a good old slapping. It just illustrates... Worldstar! Worldstar! Did you get tangoed a lot, Gavin?
[0:50:21] Gavin: I got tangoed a few times, yeah.
[0:50:24] Andrew: And as it says, you know when you've been tangoed. What? What is it with your country and punishing you for buying their beverages? Why do they hate you when you buy your beverage? Get a Dr. Pepper, end up in fucking jail. End up dead. Need a saw. Buy a tango. Get punched. Because that's the thing. Get slapped. It's crazy.
[0:50:45] Geoff: So that caused kids all over England to do that.
[0:50:47] Gavin: Well, yeah, because they were just slapping each other in the face with both hands at the same time and hit each other in the ear holes. And it was a big problem at the time, I think. Seems like it would be.
[0:50:56] Eric: Let's go with Jeff's honorable mention here. Jeff, anything you want to say?
[0:51:01] Geoff: This was my original fourth pick before I switched it out. Very similar. Just like super popular in America. There's a million of these. This is just the one that... I didn't realize how bad all the songs were. They're pretty fucking bad. But, yeah.
[0:51:16] Eric: Okay, here it is.
[0:51:19] Unidentified: Bowling sure makes me hot and thirsty. This is a job for Kool-Aid.
[0:51:23] Geoff: Goddamn right it is. Oh, yeah.
[0:51:26] Unidentified: Kool-Aid. Bringing your fun. Kool-Aid. Oh, my God. I'm going to run and get a big wine. This is great. This is a really good one. That guy must have been terrified. Your friend's cool off. My friend's Kool-Aid. Kool-Aid brand soccer. That's awesome.
[0:51:47] Geoff: Damn right it is.
[0:51:48] Unidentified: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
[0:51:50] Geoff: There were like a million of those, obviously. I'm sure they made their way to England, too. Those were always great.
[0:51:56] Eric: This is like Burt Kreischer's favorite drink, man. That's great.
[0:52:00] Geoff: I also had, there's no need to play it, but I also, my other one was going to be California Raisins. Oh, that's good, too. That was fun. Yeah. Yeah.
[0:52:09] Eric: Let's go with Nick's. We'll go with mine and wrap up with Andrew's. Oh, Nick. This is a-
[0:52:14] Nick: Very good pick. Yeah, this one traumatized a lot of kids, I'm guessing. Yep. Oh. Also, those beds.
[0:52:32] Unidentified: I've never seen this. Dude, you gotta not wake Daddy, bro.
[0:52:36] Geoff: Waking Daddy was the worst when you were a kid.
[0:52:39] Eric: Fucking wake Daddy. I got work! They just keep saying it. That's the whole commercial. There's a lot of Daddy in there.
[0:52:52] Gavin: So, what wakes Daddy pressing on the alarm?
[0:52:55] Eric: So, you have, like, you land on spots, and then you press the alarm, and it's a random number that you press it a certain amount of times or whatever, and then he fucking sits up and his hat shoots off. That's it. And then you're not supposed to wake Daddy. And then the sleepover's over.
[0:53:09] Nick: Yeah. Yeah. Go home! He doesn't even call the other parents. He just sends them out.
[0:53:14] Eric: Hell no. Yeah, you just walk home. Jeff mentioned it earlier, but this was on my short list.
[0:53:23] Unidentified: Oh, yeah. Now your child can visit steamy jungles, grassy plains, and the third depths of the ocean. Wanted these so much. Oh, how much? It's about the magnificent animals that live there, all through the captivating, colorful pages of Zoo Books. The publication is specially created for young readers. Each monthly issue of Zoo Books is packed with breath-shaking, full-color photos, and scientifically accurate illustrations. Well, accurate to the time. Yeah. They just keep hanging out with the monkey. Well, fascinating issues of Zoo Books for the special price of $10.05. This one's a camel's.
[0:53:54] Geoff: I like that you know that there was a discussion about...
[0:53:58] Unidentified: Oh, nice. You also get the colorful collection of animal stickers and your tiger poster. Tiger poster's so sick. And send learning and fun to a child you love.
[0:54:08] Eric: The thing I remember a lot about that was him having the conversation with the mailman. Like, the mailman is so excited to give him the Zoo Books. Like, watch. He's like, I read half of it on the way over here. It's fucking awesome.
[0:54:21] Geoff: Oh, you're not going to believe what happens in this one.
[0:54:24] Eric: Page 17. Praying mantises. Oh, man. But Zoo Books was definitely one that I saw a lot in tandem with the Sears air conditioning commercial.
[0:54:36] Gavin: I'm not sure if a camel can carry an entire Zoo Book, though.
[0:54:39] Eric: I agree. I agree with you. A hundred percent. Andrew, your honorable mention. Anything you want to say about it?
[0:54:46] Andrew: Yes. It is another PSA type ad. This was the one that I thought of more as a kid. I prefer this one over the hippos, but it wasn't as iconic. There are some kids in here that I thought were fucking cool as a little kid.
[0:55:00] Eric: All right.
[0:55:00] Andrew: That are not cool at all, but here we go.
[0:55:08] Eric: Oh, this is a thing that it looks like you would love. This kid was so crucial.
[0:55:12] Gavin: It's like every cool thing ever. This kid was so cool.
[0:55:36] Eric: This is a great commercial. This is a really 90s feeling commercial, which means it came out in 2005 in Canada. This feels like a 1999 thing, so, man. Dude, what a fun commercial, though.
[0:55:56] Unidentified: Nobody's good at everything. Yep. Everybody's good at something. What's your thing?
[0:56:04] Eric: Andrew, what's your thing?
[0:56:06] Andrew: I wish my thing was T-Rex noises. I'd give a lot to the T-Rex noise guy. I would say my thing, unfortunately, is bad ankles and a lot of pillows. I think I could have been fucked up on what my thing should be.
[0:56:20] Gavin: Man, they really cared about advertising to children in Canada. Yeah, they seem to.
[0:56:25] Andrew: They really wanted to protect them. Oh, there's so many. So many PSAs.
[0:56:29] Geoff: Can I ask you a question, Andrew? Of course.
[0:56:31] Andrew: Do you feel protected? I feel pretty protected, yeah. Mainly because of my unbreakable nose. I think that may have carried me quite a bit in my life.
[0:56:41] Geoff: But, I mean, do you feel like Canada was looking out for you?
[0:56:44] Andrew: And they protected you through your childhood? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I didn't feel they were against me, at the very least.
[0:56:51] Gavin: I mean, the idea of having an ad that makes you question the realism of the ad, that's mind-blowing to me. I never had anything like that.
[0:56:59] Geoff: Yeah. Do you think all the little Canadian kids in Vancouver with boot prints on their chest feel protected?
[0:57:07] Andrew: Well, yeah. Thankfully, there aren't many of this. That's true. Alleged beyond one. Alleged.
[0:57:14] Geoff: Well, there you have it. Those are TV commercials, and we watched them. Why are... Hang on. Are you doing the outro? No, I'm just saying.
[0:57:25] Eric: Maybe. I don't know. I wanted... I just... I thought Gavin did such a good intro. I want Gavin to do the outro.
[0:57:30] Geoff: Gavin, take it away. I gave you a sample outro. You can use that one or make your own. Where did you leave... Where did you stop? I said, yeah. Well, there you have it. We made some commercials. We watched some commercials. Thanks.
[0:57:45] Gavin: Thanks for watching the draft. Hopefully, you watched it, and you didn't just listen to it. See you next one.
[0:58:00] Geoff: Well, help me out. Do it properly. No! We need somebody to make a commercial on how to do an outro. Oh, my God. Maybe if Andrew could rap it to you. Oh, maybe you could rap us out, Gavin.
[0:58:15] Gavin: Well, I'll let Andrew do that, because he's had all the milk practice. No, I'm not.
[0:58:18] Andrew: Hey, you've rapped before. There are videos of you rapping. I didn't let you leave the stage.
[0:58:26] Eric: Eric, what...
[0:58:27] Unidentified: What else do I need to say?
[0:58:33] Eric: You need to rap it up somehow. I don't... Do you feel like you left that on a strong ending?
[0:58:38] Geoff: Hey, thanks for listening to another draft from F*** Face. We hope you liked it. We've done a few of these in the past. We'll be doing a few in the future. Well, maybe you could find your favorite commercials from when you were a kid and send them to your friends as an adult. And you could say, hey, do you remember this commercial when you were a kid? And your friend could say, yeah, I also liked it. And then you guys could share a moment. Bye.
